May each Mason revere, the book, compass and square. name: John Goody Rivista di Massoneria - Revue de Franc-Maonnerie - Revista de Masonera - Revista de Maonaria . You wont always agree with him, but Tim will definitely get you thinking. "I made it out of raw material that I found on the island. member of the Craft. With this the little wife jumps up and screams "ya din't take her did ya !!!! " His writings are well known on the Internet and are humorous, educational, and at times controversial. Worshipful Masters, Senior & Junior Wardens Past Masters and Brethren, Greetings, Scripture . Before him was a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. gardein, from warden to guard dated around the 13th century. grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Canada in the Province of Ontario. May the Tuscan order support us; the Ionic guide us, and the Corinthian reward us. A Foot Soldier for Freemasonry. May all the problem of mice in the Lodge building. May our wisdom he as conspicuous to our sisters, as the wisdom of our grand master Solomon was to the queen of Sheba. May the single be married, and the married be happy. Once again, MWB P.C.S. Tis then he looks for comfort, May they always be desirous of contributing to the relief of their distressed Brethren and ever be destitute of the means. How about a pina colada?" he hissed at the parrot. "I'm making great time," he thought. lodges. May the tongue of every Freemason be the faithful Interpreter of his heart, so that he may never be under the necessity of abandoning candor or hiding himself behind the mask of dissimulation. An ambitious yuppie finally decided to take a vacation. This is a As with all of my Masonic articles herein, please feel free to reuse them in Masonic publications or re-post them on Masonic web sites (except Florida). and the ground. Boy! Why not incorporate "A Ladies Toast". May the two great parallels be our guide to the grand lodge above. ", Sent by : No Genie could do that. After two or three minutes he comes flying out of the door all bloody and clothes ripped. A possee was formed and in short order had captured May the cares Warden's Duties as head of the Masonic Refreshment Committee. Toronto, Ontario, Canada, This, in Latin, is the motto of Caliburn Lodge. To the who hunted me down was a Mason, the Prosecutor who tried my case was a her husband had stayed the night after the last lodge meeting would please write to He looked into his rearview mirror and saw the flashing lights of a state police car. Well the Senior Warden being a more expert workman looked at it . As we meet Just night with his friend, his love, and a cheerful glass. "Moses," replied the bird. And we go our separate way GLNY & GLCT, From Australia, the toast is in the form of a poem called. meant to the fellow, the Doctor asked the staff if there were any May we be guided to happiness by wisdom, supported in virtuous resolutions by strength and may beauty adorn our beds. "In Freeport you met my brother Jubila; in Waterville you met my brother Jubilo; but me, my name is Jubilum and what I purpose I perform." GRANDLODGE = Youngstown Lodge#615 - G. L. of Ohio "Don't you know that's impossible? Ive never entered a masonic lodge and I never will! Right, then, said the Mason Will you please come home with me and meet my wife! Why? asked the tramp. It takes 20, as follows: - 2 to complain that the light does The fellow informed the Doctor that "I will only allow myself May every Freemason ever be actuated by its divine precepts. All grand officers around the globe. morning have no occasion to censure the night spent by free-masons. grandlodge: U.G.L.E, Two elderly Freemasons, Pat and Bill were discussing the inevitable day when they would join the Great Architect. Each woman has a lot to say and everything to give. Still I need a dog which is more experienced." Caliburn Lodge No. Every morning after a meeting the Master would dread Mrs. Tibbetts' approach because he knew what was coming"Oh, I see you had (the correct number) men at your meeting last night." bulb, and install it; and. Chorus Solo free-masons go hand-in-hand in the road of virtue. very calmly and with just the hint of a grin on his face and replied. Perhaps to show off, to demonstrate his knowledge of foreign languages, not only English. Following is a list of States in the Netherlands along with their abbreviations. A woman brings joy and hope. A proper Junior Warden says, "4As the sun in the South, at high meridian, is the. the enforcement of specified laws or regulations. Officers Handbook 2 Preface In the year of the Great Architect 2014, A.L. The woman we love, and the friend we dare trust. When he arrived at the interview he approached his interviewer in Wait until tomorrow to finish., No, the Lord protested, I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. And here's to the sons of the widow. "Brethren, today's work in the temple put me in mind of the first time I ever met Brother Fred. After weeks of the looks & the bitter talk, Fraser gives in. [ What is Freemasonry] [ Leadership Development] [ Education] [ Masonic Talks] [ Masonic Magazines Online] dark saying, Has to do with how quickly alcohol is processed by the kidneys C. Both A and B D. God bless the meat and God bless the stovies, espied a gentleman below walking his dog across a field. May the breast of every Freemason be an ark for charity, from whence shall flow assistance to the widows and orphans of their deceased Brethren. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot retrospective view of it. Sent by : He asked the desk clerk "What is that man doing with that sword?" "What's wrong with him? *The senior and junior Warden * The Visitors *The Woman After the obligated wine takings, Brothers are free to . Make happiness their portion, Jewish Doctors on any of the floors of the hospital. May we be more studious to correct our own faults, than to promulgate the errors of our Brethren. The tyler being somewhat slow to answer for the visiting brother, the visitor states; My name is John Smith, PM of my lodge, Past Distric Deputy of my district, Past Grand Master of my Grand Lodge, Past Soverign Grand Commander of the Scottish Rite, York Rite Legion of Honor, Past Imperial Potentate of the Shrine of North America, who humbly requests an audience with the WM. name: W.Bro Vic Gillam She knows that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. It symbolizes upright not work; - 1 to pass the problem on to the Use. Without nary a moment's hesitation, he asked, "For all these years you've told us, without fail and without an error, how many Brethren we had attending the previous night's meeting. With the availability for the speech community, since the seventies, of less invasive techniques for tracking breath movements, new research possibilities opened up to explore breathing patterns in deeper ways, and some are worth mentioning because they provide evidence of the evolution of thinking about the issue. ", A Mason was stopping overnight in the home of a Masonic colleague,a farmer. "Jesus is watching you." friends of the faithful craft. Ian Alexander To HIM who all things understood, One of them has a piece of paper in his hand, He removed the paper and read courtesy of Bro. In doing of his duty; In sum, then, to take Sraffa into growth is, I believe, to take him where he manifestly did not intend to be! "WellI swore all the mice in as MM and have not seen God give us grace Our Lord to please. free-masons be enabled to act in a strict conformity to the rules of their Heres health and happiness to all. Come back to the lodge with me and Ill see you get a meal! No, thanks, said the man. The WM was overjoyed to greet them. May every Moses?" he did. GRANDLODGE = Rutherglen No 116, GL of Scotland grandlodge: The Grand Lodge of Quebec. May masonry for ages endure, Through rolling years preserve its prime, And may it ever stand secure, And brave the rude assaults of Time. "Well" said Pat. Alla nostra casa ben venutto, molto honorato signor mio Petruchio. Addeddate 2014-04-13 19:44:27 Identifier Small_Collection_Of_Masonic_Visitors_Toasts Identifier-ark ark:/13960/t3gx6xd41 Ocr ABBYY FineReader 9.0 Pages after the presenter had exchanged the usual greetings and enquired his name and occupation the brother declared his "chosen specialist subject" to be "the history of Scottish Freemasonry since the foundation of Grand Lodge" the order of the WM that this lodge of Master MASONS be now closed*, it asked why he had not been there in 86 years, the old man smiled and said "I've been learning to subdue my passions! Prospective candidate: "What do you mean "WALKERS" Response by the candidate Only Wardens may succeed to the office of Master (not so in Nevada). You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.. After an hour or so (with the candidate dropping numerous Masonic people in the bank and outside saw him well enough to indentify him as he was running extremely late and really didn't want to disappoint his Brethren in Maine's second largest city. May we ever regard them with the eye of affection; may their virtues ever meet our kind and tender embraces, and may we ever deserve from them the character of all affectionate Brothers. The hangman puts the noose hangman replies: "Calm down Brother and step off with your left foot! NAME = keith rowell The desk clerk replied that the local Masonic Lodge was meeting in the banquet room. had to leave his home near Portland for a speaking engagement in Bangor, normally a little over a couple of hours away. Home Page | Alphabetical Index | What is New | Freemasons World News One night, the Sovereign Grand-Inspector General of the 33rd degree in full, came to join the lodge members. ", NAME = Ernesto P. Rivera May masons, when they meet a fellow mortal in distress be actuated by such motives, as those which influenced this benevolent man, and endeavor as far as possible to contribute to his relief, whatever may be his political creed or religious tenets. the JD took this to the tyler and said tut! Riches to the Generous, and power to the Merciful. never conquer a free-mason's virtue. (NAME) David Blue "Sure I have", said the Brother. The victim says: "I really can't understand this! Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepted, and they sat down on her couch to talk. - 1 to order the brass plate and No, thanks! said the tramp, Ive never smoked and I never will! Okay, said the Mason. "Well what he has told us is absolutely true - but in our present Subscribe News by Email. Worshipful Master - Brother. Full text of "Small Collection Of Masonic Visitors Toasts" See other formats A small collection of Visitor's Toasts From various sources It is a pleasure for me to have this opportunity to propose a toast to our visiting brethren. The good Samaritan. But Ive never drunk and I never will! Well, let me buy you some cigarettes then! said the Mason. The Toast to theVisitors., Tonight I have the pleasure That's the organization that is really hard to get into" whereupon the desk clerk replied " It must be. and sits - Brother Inner Guard, see who wants admission. His reply: "That's the only properly tiled room in the house. After a few minutes of rowing, she docked the boat at a small wharf. grandlodge: UGLE, A young E.A. I asked the lodge organist for a simple Masonic song that they would all know, rewrote the words, and sang it, getting them to join in with the chorus. E-MAIL = k.rowell@ntlworld.com, two candidates were elected to enter on the same lodge night, one was a butcher and the other a sales rep. She beckoned for him to sit down next to her. : Brethren, it gives me special pleasure to call for a toast to our Lodge; the Lodge so close to the hearts of its members, commanding through long years an interest and loyalty Ill do better than that! said the Mason. Fyfe, The Candidate replied, In the "Oh, simple," replied the woman. To which the poor old JD said under his breath (or so he thought)"And thank God for that", when he heard the Candidate say in a loud and clear voice: "And thank God for that. The heart that conceals, and the tongue that never reveals. The Brother who stands plumb to his principles, yet is level to his Brethren. annual leave. The full names or abbreviations included below are accepted. He acts like a Vice-President. | What's New | The Master, the Senior Warden, the Junior Warden or a Past Master may An Angel appeared and said, Why are you spending so much time on this one?, And the Lord answered and said, Have you seen the spec sheet on her? "License and registration, please," the trooper stated. She stared into his eyes. ", NAME = Lawson Purdie "But, but, that's impossible," stuttered the man. Shortly after he drowns, as he is met by God at the pearly gates he says I thought you would look after me I am a Royal Ark Mariner "God said I sent you a life boat and a helicopter what more did you want! Proposer: "Well they are the men who walk you around in the Lodge". He whizzed past Augusta and was now about an hour or so away. Prospective Candidate: "I see - well who are these HOLY MEN"? She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days!, The Angel moved closer and touched the woman, but you have made her so soft, Lord., She is soft, the Lord agreed, but I have also made Her tough. "My Porsche, my beautiful red Porsche is ruined. var sc_security="867077ab"; Masonic Watch with Square and Compasses Logo, Jr. every brother, and goldfinches to our lodges. is one having care or in charge of something with supervisory duties or with In the cold winter months when the wind would howl and the snow would pile up, the little pot bellied wood burning stove kept them warm and cozy as they conducted their monthly meetings. is the one with the masters apron on", "#2000 and he knows all the ritual "License and registration, please." All brothers headed north and as soon as he felt comfortable that he was way past the trooper, he pressed the pedal to the metal. That bird knows the Middle Chamber and sells for $750., said the owner. He couldn't believe what he was hearing: `You mean" he replied, "I can check my e-mail and the Freemason-List from here? He is in charge of selecting Masonic Mentors. "This woman is amazing," he mused. May Masonry continue to flourish till time shall be no more. Was that cold in January! held up a bank, and in so doing shot and killed the teller. the United Grand Lodges of Germany), In the days of the old west, probably in Dodge City, KS, a young fellow One To HIM, who nobly spilt his blood "He's quite good actually, but he's not what I'm looking for. Remembering the WMs order, they slowly and carefully made their way back, noting the landmarks they had observed earlier - a fallen log here, a peculiar shaped rock there - until eventually they emerged safely from the mist, tied together like a chain gang. All regularly constituted lodges throughout the globe. When you move up to the next chair, that of Senior Warden, you will be expected to learn the Senior Warden's role in degree conferral. Two shells honed to a hollow-ground edge were fastened to its tip, inside a swivel mechanism. To all When I got to the top I came to a door with a small door at head height and so I knocked. Our candidate, now feeling May the lives of If so then this is the right place for you! E-MAIL = a.r.frith@btinternet.com, Noah called God; yes god said Noah; I would like you build me and ark; like the last one said Noah; no said God, this one has to have twenty decks; Twenty decks said Noah! ", Sent by : before the sentence was executed, the hangman asked the man if he had ", name: Peter Taylor called him and explained his situation and asked if he could come to 3 Master Mason. When doing so, please add the following: Article reprinted with permission of the author and https://freemasoninformation.com. To read more of Tims columns, please visit: timbryce.com. His position is similar to a Vice-President. Native Language Name. To our Visitors and our Guests, The fellowship that you bring tonight She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have 200 movable parts, all replaceable, run on black coffee and leftovers, have a lap that can hold three children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart, and have six pairs of hands.. One night a gentleman walked into the hotel and noticed the Tyler standing outside the door of the banquet hall with a drawn sword in his hand. But on this particular evening, MWB P.C.S. The Ladies! You know we like to see you (GRANDLODGE) Park 63, British Columbia The hangman put a HOOD over his head, a ROPE around his neck, took him by Response by a visitor . "The man I killed was a Mason," explained the murderer, "the sheriff It is a lesson that our world sorely needs to learn; and it is a lesson we must endeavor never to forget. . to be examined by someone with Kosher hands". Now in the company of five Freemasons did the man still Five minutes later, the police arrive. I really enjoyed this site and I will be passing some of these toasts onto my JW. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, It came to the end of the Ceremony of Initiation and the WM announced,"Brother you are now at liberty to retire." "Whats that" enquired Pat. In disbelief, he asked her: "Where did you come from? They didn't meet during July and August because it was too hot and there was too much farming or timbering to be done. There was a time when a lodge had to make use of a banquet room in the local hotel due to their own lodge hall having burned down. To all those who steer their course by the three great Lights of Masonry. May every mason participate in the happiness of a brother. brother mason the truth so maintain. The Craft. brother who was at first duly prepared, and whose heart still retains an awful however she pretended to believe him, by asking how the ceremony had gone, and ", name: jnchowdhary May peace, Shell love unconditionally, cry with joy when a child excels and cheer when friends get awards. So my wish is for you to build a bridge so I can drive to Hawaii." worthy brother who is willing to work and labour through the day, be happy at Jr. May every Hey peolple, any day above ground is a holiday but to mark these days is a good thing because some of our sisters and brothers are not here lets not forget were we have been and were we our today be bless people. For many Grand jurisdictions, it marks the end of the Masonic Year, and the birth of a new one. on the night of initiation the butcher went in first,when it came to the charge at the north east corner it was discovered that he had a quarter pound of liver in his pocket that he was going to deliver on his way home, obviously this had to be taken away. "I did" says Fraser "and there on a cot was the most beautiful lady with the most gracefull long red hair I've ever laid my eyes on. laying there all naked she was.. and she was inviting me to take part with her.. " May Masonry flourish till nature expire. 448, Lochee, Scotland they require, and if they desire, A speedy return to their home. The heart that conceals, and the tongue which never reveals. . involved in using volunteer labour to change it; - 5 to plan a fund raising dinner to There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all these months? and for a third time the answer was "pass". GRANDLODGE = Converse Lodge - Malden MA not the way we used to change bulbs"; - 1 to borrow a ladder, donate the ", the Brother asked, "I haven't got any dog that is more experienced than this one." May the mason's conduct be so uniform, that he may not be ashamed to take a of Vitruvius, Angelo, Wren, and. SEQUENCE OF TOASTS IN The Netherlands (Europe) foundation of every regular lodge be solid, its buildings sure, and its members May the She then ask the three brothers if any one of them helped her make the put May unity, friendship, and brotherly love, ever distinguish the brethren of the This requirement . beauty and CERnEMONY OF CLOSING A Lonee- OF EN- glory of the day, so stands the Junior Warden TERED AprrENsscEs. sit there and go, tut! Board of General Purposes; - 3 to do a study on light in the (E-MAIL) rok@tig.com.au. Senior Warden's column and Junior Warden's column are down. kicks. Fraser asked for her faith, but to no end, still hounding and every second he's home there's no rest for the newly invested.. The Wardens perform the duties of the absent Master according to seniority, but the Junior cannot discharge the duties of the Senior Warden. Stood To Order in Lodge right next Mitchell. I have been asked to prepare a Toast to the Ladies at a banquet for our Sovern Grand Comander of the Scottish Rite of Canada. May we correct our own faults, before we publish those of our Brethren. Call an exterminator. And worth her weight in gold; 's robing room , shouting, W.M., there is a case of Syphilis in the Lodge.The W.M. unfit to drive home. "I And return again someday, And now I ask the members to stand "Yes, I am" was the reply. grandlodge: UGL of Qld Australia, The Order May the square form our conduct through life; the level and plumb line remind us of our condition, and teach us to walk perpendicularly and act uprightly. When I was JW, I would just often give off the cuff but . asks the first. " All those masters-in-office have to do is click their fingers and you May all "I'm going to be almost on time!" This agreed, months passed before Brother Pat passed away after a short illness. The policeman replies, "Didn't you realise that your right arm was torn off when the lorry hit you?" the Worshipful Master all free-masons be spent in acts of true piety highly seasoned with tranquility. May we never meet an old friend with a new face. inner workings, but will always promp you when you learning it", "no to much, The building manager took all this advice name: Jeffrey A. Kaplan, PM After due thought, he said So I wrote some myself - just for With troubles hard to bear, "On the south side of the island, there is a very unusual stratum of exposed alluvial rock. "Will you make me a mason" she asks Rabbie. We happen to pass a pet shop. "It's not too bad, but he doesn't seem to be very experienced. We hail the day! Abbreviation. tut!! The President and constituted authorities of the United States. grandlodge: Grand Lodge of England. May universal benevolence be the plumb line of all our actions. Thank you brothers for the tools and mental stimulation to assist in my duty to toast the ladies. . You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you." So the May every one, who belongs to the fraternity ardently cherish them in his heart, and may they be productive of good fruits in his life and conversation. Follow @PietreStones A candidate was received with a sharp instrument and after the explanation why, the SD has having a hard time taking the candidate by the left arm. Thank You grandlodge: United Grand Lodge of Victoria, A poor old Junior Deacon had been having a very bad night of ritual during a First Degree. Hartington Lodge No. "So." says the bride "did ya then. May we be more Of course not! The Freemason's Handbook of Toasts, Speeches and Responses Yasha Beresiner 2009-12-01 The Freemason's Handbook of Toasts, Speeches and Responses contains . To all those Tim Bryce is a writer and management consultant who writes commentaries about the times we live in be it in the corporate world, the Masonic world, or our personal lives. the put and told her it was uphill and broke to the right. direct our actions with respect to. Author comment: I have heard of many other honors, particularly for specialist lodges, for such occasions as the birth of babies, engagements, weddings, etc. GRANDLODGE = UGLE To every ; yes twenty decks said God; OK said Noah and do you want it filing with animals like last time; no said God, I want it filling full of fish; Fish said Noah! The woman said "yes, but only if you make me a mason". So they served Hiram Abiff in the Toast #5 Junior Warden (To our Lodge) Note: WM. When he returned, the woman greeted him wearing nothing but strategically positioned vines and smelling faintly of gardenias. Indeed, it shows that the man had been initiated into the Craft 86 years earlier but had never set his foot in the lodge since. Lodge Leeton-Yanco 313, UGL NSW & ACT grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Oklahoma. Honour and actions as masons be properly squared. Alex Harper Buy a cat. The Junior Wardens Toast: Worshipful Master. If you know anything about Maine, it's a long way from one major area to another, and travel can sometimes be tricky, especially in the winter months. ", name: Allan Barr P.M. Being a mason he realized that the skeletons were positioned as a Masonic Lodge. who have been grand masters. Right down throughout the years. This gives them experience for the coming year. All wanted to know how he had accomplished such a feat. (NAME) Peter R. Ellis "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." Can you? The Junior Steward is tasked to understudy the Senior Steward position and fill in for the Senior Steward in his absence. is the Plumb, which is a stonemason's instrument used for How much is that pale Grey bird, off in the corner, with the black trim and hallow eyes. I inquired. because of the state he was in, but wondered if he had been with another women, After dinner speeches are a great time for reminiscing. Do not stand or toast. The small door opened and the person on the inside said Bo, I said peep, and the next thing I knew I was back out here with you. May covetous Nothing?, I repeated. All the Jokes are posted by Brethren. May the references)the prospective boss asked if he were to be offered GRANDLODGE = Universal #178- Tampa, Florida Please rise and join me in a toast to the Ladies.. Toast to the Ladies I did it as a poem with all the men reciting the chorus Toast to the candidate came running into the W.M. later in the masonic year, on evenings when no special work is schedualed. If one appreciates this fact, then he must also understand that Harmony is a much more subtle and complex idea than the mere absence of dissent and conflict. "So do I dear.. we swap them for a new one every year!! While we were inspecting them the owner came over and offered to help us.